I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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