I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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