You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Randomize
