I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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