whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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