great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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