Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
