how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
