god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
