you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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