do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Found the puke drawer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
