OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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