Me too!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
