i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
