the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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