How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
