I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
