I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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