My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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