I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
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How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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