I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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