The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
