Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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