We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
How's work?
Spinning.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
