Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It was confusing and full of hummus
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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