Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
