Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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