I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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