Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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