drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
