So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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