She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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