I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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