I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
