I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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