alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
