This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
