I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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