so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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