We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
