I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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