Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
