Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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