Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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