True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It was confusing and full of hummus
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You're a waste of cheezeits
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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