hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
As shirtless as possible
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
