Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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