Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
