Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
