Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
