Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
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