HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.