Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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(845): View more from New York

This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.

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(818): View more from California

he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

yo everyone went to the hospital last night

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(661): View more from California

She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro

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(949): View more from California

I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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(631): View more from New York

Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake

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