grandma shit on top of the toilet
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow