Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN

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  (386): tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN http://tfl.nu/xbeq
  Replies (26) Good night (593) Bad night (3054)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  p.s. you have a small clit

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.

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  (417): p.s. you have a small clit (1-417): YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE. http://tfl.nu/402d
  Replies (45) Good night (1296) Bad night (4492)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.

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  (734): Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea. http://tfl.nu/2hiy
  Replies (18) Good night (838) Bad night (4921)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too

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  (816): you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too http://tfl.nu/2c4t
  Replies (8) Good night (1066) Bad night (3164)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced

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  (254): Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced http://tfl.nu/tkdm
  Replies (8) Good night (3866) Bad night (512)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.

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  (814): I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up. http://tfl.nu/mktj
  Replies (19) Good night (6022) Bad night (2259)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.

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  (480): From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him. http://tfl.nu/9mdh
  Replies (23) Good night (5982) Bad night (1252)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover

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  (847): I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/981k
  Replies (7) Good night (2678) Bad night (929)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.

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  (519): Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife. http://tfl.nu/uqm2
  Replies (13) Good night (1462) Bad night (5296)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?

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  (231): btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night? http://tfl.nu/51xq
  Replies (2) Good night (2042) Bad night (1153)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.

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  (609): Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/7v0e
  Replies (8) Good night (472) Bad night (1110)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  But he was really hot

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Glad you don't have HIV

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  (425): I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again (1-425): But he was really hot (1-425): Glad you don't have HIV http://tfl.nu/se36
  Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (886)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.

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  (917): It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet. http://tfl.nu/tf3l
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (422)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.

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  (515): You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick. http://tfl.nu/jkbb
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (318)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.

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  (720): I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/epbn
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (270)

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