I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
