you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
