Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
